"Collection of Stories and Jokes " by Blueprince_harry

Blueprince_harry · by Blueprince_harry on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:38 am

Welcome into "Collection of Stories and Jokes "

well....
firstly i'm sorry for just making this thread without any opening from me...

(he-he... sorry )

um... from the title, you may have already know what the purpose of this thread is

hope that you can share too any stories or jokes that you found

and hoping too that:

Lets Rock

Blueprince_harry · by Blueprince_harry on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:47 am

The English

An Indian moved to England. His English neighbour decided to call on him to introduce himself and wish the newcomer welcome.
The Englishman was surprised to see the man from India in his nice backyard busily absorbed in chasing ten chickens around like mad.
"Must be an Indian custom," the Englishman thought to himself. Deciding not to intrude. he could put off the welcome till a later date and went home.
The next evening, he decided he should go again to welcome the Indian. This time, from the street, he saw through the window that the Indian was urinating into a cup and drinking it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself, deciding again to delay the welcome by another day.
The third day, he was determined he had to welcome the Indian. From the gate, he saw the Indian concentrating with his ear pressed hard against a cow's butt. Starting to be annoyed at this behavior in the neighborhood, he went up to the Indian. "I'm sorry to disturb you sir. I am your neighbour. I wanted to wish you welcome,but from what I have seen you doing for the last three days, I am not so sure any more - because we don't want such goings on in our neighbourhood" , said the Englishman unable to hold his voice from rising. 'Neither I, nor the other people living in the neighbourhood will stand for your crazy Indian customs!", he almost yelled to the Indian's face.
The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually English customs. I was told, to be English, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit."

Blueprince_harry · by Blueprince_harry on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:48 am

The Tailor's Needle

A tailor was at work. He took a piece of cloth and with a pair of shining, costly, scissors, he cut the cloth into various bits.

Then he put the pair of scissors at his feet. Then he took a small needle and thread and started to sew the bits of cloth, into a fine shirt. When the spell of sewing was over, he stuck the needle on to his turban.

The tailor's son who was watching it asked him: "Father, the scissors are costly and look so beautiful. But you throw them down at your feet. This needle is worth almost nothing; you can get a dozen for an anna. Yet, you place it carefully on your head itself. Is there any reason for this illogical behaviour?"

"Yes, my son. The scissors have their function, no doubt; but they only cut the cloth into bits. The needle, on the contrary, unites the bits and enhances the value of the cloth. Therefore, the needle to me is more precious and valuable. The value of a thing depends on its utility, son, not on its cost-price or appearance."

Similarly, there are two classes of people in the world-those who create dissensions and disharmony, who separate man from man; and those who bring about peace and harmony, who unite people.

*******
The former are generally the rich people, powerful politicians and kings; the latter are generally the poor devotees of God, the penniless wandering monks, and mendicants. The Lord makes use of both to carry on his function of providing the field for the evolution of individual souls. He throws down on the dust the mighty kings and millionaires who create wars and disharmony; and He keeps the poor, pious devotee over His own head. In His eyes the scale of values is entirely different!

Blueprince_harry · by Blueprince_harry on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:50 am

Attitude

A man wakes up home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him,all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table :
Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
Love you.

He goes to the kitchen.
Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him.

His son is also at the table, eating.
The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and also clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that ! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,

" LADY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME ! I'M MARRIED !'"

Blueprince_harry · by Blueprince_harry on Tue Jan 20, 2009 2:57 am

Do you know ....

This is awesome - I bet you didn't know this...

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99

(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999

(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999

(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting

******

"Collection of Stories and Jokes " by Blueprince_harry

"Collection of Stories and Jokes " by Blueprince_harry

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