Computer Jokes

**sweetu** · by **sweetu** on Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:47 pm

Five reasons computers must be female...
5.No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
4.Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3.The native language used to communicate with the other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2.The message, "Bad command or filename", is about as informative as "if you don t know why I m mad at you, then I m certainly not going to tell you".
1.As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

**sweetu** · by **sweetu** on Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:48 pm

Copy Cats?
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department Manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.
The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we`ve decided to give the job to the other applicant."
"And why would you be doing that ? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
"Simple, "said the Department manager, "Your fellow applicant put down on question No. 5, `I don`t know` and You put down, `Neither do I.` "

**sweetu** · by **sweetu** on Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:50 pm

Hard Disk Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

Windows Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

Screensaver Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

Internet Girls:
Difficult to access.

Server Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

Multimedia Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

Email Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

Virus Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

**sweetu** · by **sweetu** on Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:52 pm

What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.
What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

**sweetu** · by **sweetu** on Sun Jan 04, 2009 3:53 pm

IT Conversation :
Husband: (Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."
Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife???: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found ...
Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife???: You are useless.
Husband: It`s by Default.
Wife???: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use ... Try later.
Wife???: What is my value in the family.
Husband: Unknown Virus

MORAL: Beware before getting married to an IT pro.

Computer Jokes

Computer Jokes

Re: Computer Jokes

Re: Computer Jokes

Re: Computer Jokes

Re: Computer Jokes